Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
