I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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