That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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