guys are not supposed to queef...right?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
