my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
