My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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