have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
