So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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