it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
where are my eyebrows?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize