I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
where are my eyebrows?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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