dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
