Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
