Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The uberlube is also flammable
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have fence marks all over my body
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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