She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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