Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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