i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
