Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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