Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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