Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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