So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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