i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
