Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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