Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
