I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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