this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize