he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
