He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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