Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
