How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
