Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
