So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
