Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
