Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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