so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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