Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
