Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think I died a long time ago.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
