it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We were destined to go to rehab together
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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