Me. At least after what I've been through.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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