Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
