I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
do herpes really smell.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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