I feel like I'm in dance class right now
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
