Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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