Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
