I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So vagazzling was a success
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
