Already got asked if we're dating
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
