So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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