What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
