Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
