i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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