I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
