I swear she didn't look like that last week.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
