When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
