He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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